Contentment
by Chicleeblair
Summary: Saraiyu Balitang missedd many things once she ran away with Zaimid, her chance to be queen, the death of her brother. What she gained was more: Finally being content.


Contentment

Saraiyu Balitang rested one long-fingered hand on her swollen belly and looked up at the bright blue Carthaki sky. She wears a heavy frock against the cold, but she cannot control the urge to spend the majority of her days outside. Her husband, Zaimid, had objected to her frequent outdoor romps in the snow, but after a day of her roaming around their apartments in the place like a dog trapped in a cage he had relented, making up a store of potions against colds and put extra warming spells on her clothes. There was something to be said for being married to the Emperor's chief healer. She was also lucky that the cold season in Carthak was incredibly short.

The baby moved inside of her as she stood in what, during the other seasons of the year, was the pages practice yards and smiled. A year ago she would never have imagined her life in this way. She had decided at some point the previous winter that she would never fall in love again, it was too dangerous. Imagine, if she had kept that promise! She chuckled to herself, and looked around to make sure no one heard her. No doubt they would think her mad.

Certainly this castle was not as grand as the palace that her sister now lived in, but they were still rebuilding it in places from the great destruction nearly eleven years before, coming from the Tortall Wildmage. The former site of the palace was still over run with pests in particular the rats of the Graveyard Hag, Carthak's patron godess. The new palace was exquisite, with a wonderful view of the ocean, but it lacked the history behind the strongholds of other realms.

Dovasari was now mistress of one of those strongholds, mistress of the entirety of the Copper Isles, the kingdom that Sarai once considered to be home. One would think that she would perhaps be jealous of her younger sister. After all, she assumed, the position was meant to be hers. If all the whispering and plotting that Aly and the others seemed to get up to was any indication. At any other time in her life Sarai would undoubtedly want that attention for herself.

She now has all that she wants. As soon as the boat set sail from the port in the Copper Isles she knew that she was heading in the direction that was right for her. Being married, being pregnant, they had both calmed her down. She had felt something settle inside of herself the first morning she awoke to the baby kicking inside of her. Zomod's gentle voice could nearly always cold her temper, and it was a relief to no longer be in the middle of all the hubbub that surrounded the falsely glamorous court of Imajane and Rubinyan. She did not want that for this child, or any other children she had later on.

Suddenly she heard footsteps in the snow, she turned around quickly to see Zaimid coming towards her, a wide smile on his lips. She hurried to throw her arms around him, and kissed him.

"Hello there, love," he said, cupping her chin in his hand. "What's the latest news from my most royal sister-in-law?" he was referring to the letter she held clutched in one hand.

"Dove's coronation went well, Winnamine is starting up a royally sponsored orphanage for the children who lost their parents in the midst of the revolution." Sarai sighed. "I think she still must mourn my brother with her every breath, but it's just like Winna to turn that into something to benefit others."

Zaimid pressed his lips to her forehead. "And you, my little one, still regret that you were not there with them when he was lost."

"Yes," she admitted, looking up into his eyes, which were the color of the feathers of the crows which had populated Tanair. In her dreams at night she could see Elsren's bright shinning eyes, his skin which was as white as the cream she put in her tea. In her mind she could hear his laughter, see his face when he was playing soldiers with Petranne and she began to try to make the soldiers hold balls between battles.

"It was a great loss for your family, I know, but we must think that his memory will live on in our own family." Sarai nodded, as Zaimid placed a hand on her stomach as the baby kicked. "Now come, let's go inside, before you catch cold. Empress Kalasin wants us for dinner. Something about wanting to discuss getting a pony for young master Johnny"

Sarai rolled her eyes, good-naturedly, both at his mother-hen like concern and Kally's wanting her advice on a horse for a four-year-old, and let him take her hand to lead her inside. Just as she was about to cross the threshold she heard a distant caw and turned around to see a crow land on the roof of the storage house where practice lances and spears were kept. Just for a moment she heard a voice in her mind whisper _You're still my child, even if you had to be so strong-willed and obstinate. _Kyprioth's voice whispered. _If this is what makes you happy, so be it._

Sarai smiled. _Always nice to know I'm on good terms with my sister's patron god._

**A/N** Trying my hand at Tortall fic. The Daughter of the Lioness is my favorite set of Pierce's works, so I'll probably have more fics soon!


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